At the Back of my Head

Croxt:

I got pain at the back of my backbones and I choose to keep it at the back of my head. I'm covered by a (bracket) of limits I've put on myself and the midnight blanket slips keep disturbing my sleep. So I slip into my sandals and pray that the mist this night tonight is a struggle I can handle. Stress is a lurking shadow I can't hide under so I'm seeking a rock for my shelter. These thoughts run helter-skelter and the back of my mind believes I can catch them if I run a bit faster. So I've fostered a relationship with myself and my lonely emptiness. Grab a candle and light a path for yourself. Don't trip, that's important. Keep your feet as low as possible feeling for the things that may take you on a trip to a toothless noselessness. And a sore toe. Or just grow your wings and fly, out beyond the ceiling. I can't breathe. You're choking me. The taser on my back got me sprawling to the ground. And yes, officer.. I'm sorry but what's my crime? The colour of my skin or the shade of your heart and the ugliness of the thoughts in your corrupted mind? What you have been taught. I'm caught. I'm not, guilty. I'm hurt. You hit me where it hurts the most. I do not know who set you up for this but I'm innocent. I absolutely did not deserve the baton you hit my face with. Twice. I did not appreciate the taser that brought intense unconscious pain to my back. And now I'm lifeless. The shot you took that blew my brains out was a nice shot. Good job. Mission accomplished. But am I just your practice target for the rest of them or am I a target because I was born different? Yes, we all sin different and please stop taking advantage of the system. It spits out some sometimes. This madness has to stop. The bodycams apparently see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil. The account of your mistakes will be recorded. But you know, you can always twist your way around it. Others have done it. "Justifiably". But then what's the point? Losing sleep for something you could have controlled. Piling up bodies to weaken a people. They do wrong but the generalization has killed more peace and brewed more unrest. To do good you have to fight evil. The loudest is that which comes from within. For it makes us act selfishly and entitled. So refrain. Choose wisely. Don't start a fire that can consume you. Seek more wisdom and strength. Shoot no more innocence. Shoot no more innocent souls, your sins have been forgiven. Maybe not by us. And definitely, not forgotten by us. 

R.I.P to all who fell even in their innocence. 

We miss you. 

We pray you forgive us for our silence. 

We pray you forgive them for they did not know what they were doing. 

We pray you forgive yourself too, it was never your fault.

#BlackLivesMatter 

Kiss the Scars off my Lips

Croxt:

The African winds blow faster and that's why there are no weak ones left. The strong ones hold the mother of being in her steadstool. Rooted to the ground. Because from her mouth flows everything good, everything beautiful. The conspiring hearts have their way through things. That's why I fought my way into her heart the most peaceful way. I knew her worth even if she might have thought less of herself. Sometimes we don't know our beauty. We hide behind our scars, almost invisible to everyone else, and pretend we are a bit stronger at our weakest, where we come from. You've seen my younger years and my ambition for a better life. The fire in my eyes. And with you I pledged forever to cherish. We don't cut off just like that. We are invisible humans to our good but project our evil to others. We are not fashioned to be like this. We can be better people. It doesn't take too much to fight this one battle. ;) . But you feel where I'm coming from. As you've kissed a thousand frogs in pursuit of the love you'll find in me, I have also kissed the forbidden fruit. I'm not sure if admiring it without biting, digging in, swallowing counts as a sin. Cast me out not from this garden of bliss. The rose flowers here sing my name in heavenly tunes and the morning dew spells it out on their fresh fierce green leaves. The sharp thorns bend to my touch and their aged strong roots bless me as I walk in their presence. We are all role models, even to ourselves. Keep pushing, keep fighting. Keep following that dream and don't let it waste away in the skylines or behind the city lights. We are all just surviving. You'll find me at the corner place where I eat my bread. I will pour you a glass of wine and we will toast to your freedom. You'll see the pain I have been through, through my eyes and you will feel pity yet admiration for a man who never gave up and finally found love. Joy. I will see the scars your mind has been dragged into and I will whisper in your ears hope. For a better tomorrow. You will see my aging face and I doubt you will be able to fight the blazing urge to kiss the scars off my lips.

The man misunderstood

Croxt:

Let's be candid. Does the government care for your taxes if you happen to be homeless? I don't know. But you give to Caesar what belongs to him anyway. That's how you stay away from trouble. Once you understand whatever needs to be done. And people are like that. Hopeful, and faithful enough to put trust in a passing storm. The thunder is what inspires us. In the rains with a voice to lead, even if misguided, we trust the confident. The braces holding our teeth seldom help us to say things straight. Because sometimes we have so much to say and we opt not to. Somethings are better not said. They are best left unspoken. So to speak sometimes is a blessing and a curse. We say things that tie a knot in our tongues and sometimes, we say things and unchain flawed thinking. Silence is golden. Maybe actions actually speak louder than words. Words become actions, right? For motivated motion is better than pointless direction. To speak and be misunderstood happens. To say nothing and be misunderstood also happens. The waring warrior sets foot in wars he knows he stands a chance. He raises to the occasion when his sword is ready and out of it's scabbard. The tongue itself is a weapon. For even to shout out peace or truth is waging war against those uncomfortable around it. People ultimately hear what they want to thus the man who speaks takes a risk. The consequences of his utterances. To speak carelessly is to act carelessly. The impact is easy to estimate, thanks to the conviction we feel in our voices, the hidden motives swimming at the back of our minds, the beating emptiness echoing in the depth of our hearts. We know little of the weight our words have on others until we've seen the aftermath of their battles. The bigger complete picture. Because to speak is to fight and to fight; only the sharpest swords tear deep. 

Yours sincerely,

The misunderstood man

The Realist

Croxt:

Let's just be real, there are a lot of fake people in this world. Fake it till you make it got a lot of people looking like clones. Not too much is real. But like the wild flower with seeds of a deserted womb, the soil provides and the roots bloom the flowers. The candid gates of realness are guarded day and night and they sort of need a real identification to let you in. The cobbled streets lead to a pain. A pain none else knows. For like gold to be tested, it's put through fire. The small thorns of fakeness prick us each way we contort our body in the heat of the moment and it's better if we remove the thorns before we've walked through those gates. Climb a river of destitution and swim in the mountains of awakening. Your childish rants are a Persian rug infested by bloodthirsty bedbugs. We accept the ruling of the day and the judgement of the night. We learn from others, if that's what makes us fake. Maybe the teachers we have are not doing enough. & that's scary. Because a moulder does not let go of the pot until it's set in fire. We give up quickly, some times too soon. The bravest fight longer because they give themselves to the fight. Our biggest weapon has always been our minds. So the stronger we believe the more likely we achieve. Not everyday though. Because somethings will never happen before their time is due. Like the dew on the ground is new every morning, but no one ever sees it happen in the echoes of the silent night. That's why we fight. Because even when we sleep, evil works against us. So we stay awake even if we dream. To be watchful is to be ready. But before the children of our children have tasted the joys of a tomorrow that knows peace, we must have fought the evils today that are so rampant. We must be vigilant. Because peace can never coexist with chaos. Where there's chaos, peace gets too disturbed to remain. Like when the sins of the earth burden the clouds until they let off some steam to wash it all away. That's how we get forgiven. The rainbow reminds us often of the beauty in the sun meeting our rains. They fellowship together and produce a beauty. So if it is to be anything you desire to become in this world, be water, be light. Or be the outcome of their meeting. For that would make you colourful. Colourful is not fake. Because it shows you where everything came from to be as beautiful. Because we are all many things to different people. Never let anyone judge you in one way as if the rainbow you are did not assure them a peaceful tomorrow. We are made up of so much. We are complex human beings. We are more. We are not just one thing. We are a rainbow of different colours. So there might be evil people in this world but we all get to see the rainbow during the day when it rains. A fair share that. Because it rains for you. You who is silent. You who is doing all to safeguard their minds and hearts. You who knows the value of finding yourself, even in the rains. Because when you shine, you will shine like a promise. And even God knows, promises are made to be kept.

Butterflies don't shit

Croxt:

Because there's no way, something that beautiful would let off something that disgusting, disturbing. Bullshit! Butterflies shit. too. Whatever goes in must come out. To be a butterfly, to begin with, you have to outgrow your caterpillar body and shit it out. Wings come when the filth in us is drained out. That's how we become better people. When we learn to do better. When we soften our hearts and open our minds to things that build. People with a desire to add value into everything that comes their way. I admire that type. You stop lying to yourself about your abilities and fix the inabilities first. You can't fly a plane with a broken wing and birds know this. Because they feel that pain. Not in their pockets. A butterfly with a broken wing breaks my heart. To be beautiful but only to yourself. To be unable to fly that people may see what you have to offer this world. So you're hidden in your small space, feeling small. Because to be honest, sometimes all we need is a little money to make it. I remember when I was small and I would think to myself that if I had the money, I would definitely dress better than those who did I met. And it's every person to their own taste. We all like what we like. And growth is the thing I like most. Growth in all aspects of my life; I have always desired and worked toward. You know you've started from the bottom if people can trace you back to nothingness. And of course you do not want to sit and be comfortable along the way. I'll pass by asking for directions to the top. If there's some zeal left in you, I will persuade you to give it at least one more shot. We will journey together. At your pace unless of course if you happen to be too slow for life. Some journeys need longer steps. For the beauty of a journey is in reaching its destination. To be a butterfly, you will need brighter wings. That's who you were born to be. Beautiful. That's where you get your name. Everything about you is what is beautiful. And of course the whole world doesn't need to see it but to those who land their eyes on you, let them savour the moment. Carry these things with you, that you may bless the ones you meet. I have had this speculation that maybe caterpillars might have wanted so bad to become butterflies. They desired to shed away their caterpillar skins. Some people might see it as shit, but at least it played its part. No one should ever be ungrateful. When we get there, we will have fought the necessary wars we will have needed to fight. That's how we get ready. You bloom when you're ready. And when you need to shit, shit. Get rid of the filth but not in public. Butterflies shit too, it's allowed.

Love you poetry!

Croxt:

The love for reading is like an endless search in a desert. We seek our oases hidden in the inner voices of others. We are concealed when we find pleasure in that which most do not. Little minds find no affection in learning others. They would rather talk about them without figuring why they do the things they do. It's all in poetry. Hidden. Burdened. Sometimes forbidden. Heaven. Golden. And we fail to see mostly what is infront of us until it's outside our reach. So to every little bird I say fly. Fly where they can't reach you. Concealed by a secret only you knew. Be not new to the skies, they shower upon the regulars. They prefer the angels they know. For to rise with wings as a little bird, you grow. You find your place in the clouds and the comfort there nurtures your soul. Bless the skies as you dance upon the mountaintops because they know your name. They have secretly scribbled your name in the clouds as you slept. They wish you well. They love you. That's how things are connected even if the other side is unaware of attachment. Because to love something you have to have wanted it. Sometimes you never even knew to exist until you stumbled upon them. Hidden treasures. Concealed. But you know there are those things you can only love from afar. Poisoning love. We live what we have until it's gone. That's how things work. You can't love what is gone. You can only miss them. The memories you shared. Because to keep loving is to hurt your steps forward. Why would you cripple yourself before you even step outside? Let alone inside the paradise you always desired. It's true. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. It's true. So never be afraid to start. It's true. Even if they laugh. They always laugh. We search for humor in everything. They believe in you when you have believed in yourself enough to ignite the engine. That's when they will want to ride with you. Or, upon you, wish they could. You see, people match clothes and at least their minds are not scattered. Like some of ours. Haha. We have found different petals in the same flower. We can not all be the same. It's a thing with robots. Which we are not. Neither are we cattle, to follow the herder's whistle. I believe we can all become better if we only compete with ourselves. Only. People will compare, they do that. It's funny how they find time for other people's affairs. 50 Cent filed for bankruptcy!!! So what? Let every man deal with his troubles. Even Jesus carried his own cross. So don't cross people. No. Some of them are defensive and when they attack they hurt. Don't bring hurt into your life. It's draining. Spend your time on more useful. Better yourself always. That's how greatness is achieved. Forget the pain of yesterday and strive to brighten tomorrow. I apologize for anyone I might have wronged. I am sorry. I apologize when I fuck up. That's what I learnt growing up. Leaving hurt hearts haunts. The careless ones realize it when it's too late. So I have doubts on where it stands on the narrow path of righteousness. I'm awakened that the truth will always set us free. If it is to seek happiness you seek, welcome into my world. There's happiness here. No one cries, we all wipe their tears. Our fears we know and we try daily to overcome those. I'll take you to places you've never been before. We'll explore. We will know more. Bless your soul for reading this far and if you love poetry as I do, write some and send it my way. I will read it and I will let you know what I think about it. People help each other. That's what love is. Being there. So I'll put my pen down tonight and say I love poetry!

Plastic Stuff

Croxt:

Most people love plastic stuff. That's why the world is suffocating this much. We don't pay rent to God or even for the oxygen we freely consume and desperately need to keep alive. We are not ungrateful. It's just that we do not know who to thank sometimes. It's easier to thank yourself if you put in all the work by yourself. The basis for living is the same for everyone, at least we all get the basics. The complexities of human nature is what complicates living. For some have died way before they set foot in their graves. Got choked by the food  they were cooking way before dinner got served. It's an unfair world sometimes. The thing we should never lose is hope. Because hope, coupled with love, covers all. Whatever goes inside anyone should never be used to judge them but what they say, do and respond to show us who they are. Who are we to judge? Because we do not even for sure know how much plastic is hiding inside us. Plastics are very useful, don't get me wrong, but what do we do after we are done with them? We dispose them off. Inside us. We blame ourselves for mistakes and we never know how to let go of our shortcomings. So as I have asked my friend before, what's the price you will put upon that which you value? Your life. How much work will you put in to get rid of the plastic stuff that chokes your hope, your ambition, your love, you vision? A little each day. The plastic stuff I speak of is the jealousy, the hatred, the blame-shifting, the selfishness, the pain, the regrets, the weakness of your mind to your own abilities and anything else that makes you feel small. You were never born to compromise. This is what belittles our imaginations. It can always be done. That's what hope is. Having faith even in the impossible. Work to rid from you these things. That's how people grow. If you ever feel stunted, it's your body giving you a notification to wake up and clean your temple. So if you love your life, as I do, each day you wake, pick out the plastic stuff lodged inside and breathe better.

The sun, sandy sea

Croxt:

The oceans remind us often that life can exist in any form. The energy we give produces effect. Waves brag of their mileage for they have been to many places. That's why I always implore everyone I meet to be like water. You fit anywhere you find yourself and if it's too little a space to keep you, you pour yourself out. Because let's face it, life is too short to spend your days agonizing on why your feet never seem to fit into the friendship shoes your friends made for you. Can a blind one lead another? Or it's human to desire touch before we feel something belongs to us? possessive. That's why we are afraid to let go once we taste the waters. We are controlled by emotions and sometimes it's just not worth it. We are afraid of losses and greedy for profits. What is in it for me? For me? For me! But it's still funny how we never see the losses coming. Some of these things fight against us, so much. Sometimes, it's because we've drowned so much in darkness. So when you see a light flash infront of you, do not let it pass! If it wasn't light then how would you see it? How would you know it spoke to you? Join the athletes and run to the beach. Where there's the sun and sandy seas. The palm trees are inviting, as if interested in your existence. So you seek shade under them. This reminds me, there are people who will understand your pain. Never suffer alone. Ask for help. Yes, everyone is obsessed in their business but some get uncomfortable seeing their others in pain. The best ones are the ones who see pain and run to save, to help. Were there not beggars in the streets, would have people known that we don't deserve even what we have? No. But that's a messed up way of looking at it. To admit, I myself have tasted pain. The echoes of a rumbling stomach in an empty house. That's why I thank God for His faithfulness. My mum believes He will never leave us nor forsake us. So you know there's gonna be good times. Some people deserve the best. You are one of them. You deserve blessings on blessings on blessings. You deserve to smile. See, not everyone will know what you are about. For the happenings in our minds are a complex development and sometimes our actions are contrary to what we had planned. Stuff happens. It's a thin line we walk on because people will always have something to say about you. Even if you say and do nothing. There's always a word for what they've defined you as a person. Give your good energy and they will know peace lives among them. It will only get better. People will understand to love. Impatience helps no one especially if they worry a lot too. Let yourself easy sometimes. You've worked too hard. If only you could take my hand and walk me to the beach. To the sun and the sandy sea beaches. We could play in the moment and forget we ever cried. People find new meaning like this. So, if you ever feel untreasured or deserted, remember your greatest companion has always been yourself. If you meet someone your heart fonds, find a friend in them. But not as fast as many people do. That shit scares people away. Have a reason to stay. To build. To empower. To belong.

A Beautiful Mind

Croxt:

Grab your future and run away with it. There's potential written all over you. I can see it with my drunken eyes, spell it with my bewildered mouth and feel it with my fingers, smoothly. You are like a gentle breeze when you walk into a room; a hurricane when you open your mouth to speak. The things you say blow my mind. Yours is a beautiful one. You know how things happen like a movie; like how you can watch things unfold right infront of you? I'd buy popcorn for yours and get frontseat tickets. I'd really love to watch how you do things. You think things out, you're thorough. You say things after you've thought about them. Isn't that what only smart men do? Grab a chair and pay me an audience. Little an audience has the world given you, even though, you deserve the most. For you stand among them different, not to be praised, but to be emulated. A friend once told me that "You are the man all the men should be" and I believed him. So I could ask if you need money for your thoughts because every good show deserves an applause but then I know the smart man you are will refuse to accept. Favours come this way. You refuse to give in to the simple infatuations that arouse your body and it's because you have learnt to shut down the noises and do the right thing. You are what I want to become. You inspire people. You give them hope. You show them that it can be done. Roads not taken are taken this way. The beautiful mind will always choose the right paths as long as he keeps walking. Even when he stumbles, he knows well not to trip twice on the same road. Some, you never see coming but once they have arrived, you handle it like you were born for them. You have my admiration. Isn't it what we call the epitome of well-being? To be worth something not money. Something intangible. To be priceless. To abound in everything is a skill you've mastered. Your touch turns even the most ignored into gold. You give the hopeless hope and the homeless home. If people can actually give you a place in their hearts, doesn't it blaze your within that you managed to stumble upon a light none else has soaked in? And it radiates, you give it out freely. You bless those who bless you. You keep away from the paths that would make people hate you. You're a joy whenever present. It's never the same with you. and without you. You quench the thirsty souls seeking refreshment from the wilderness in their lives. Some of those things drain you. But you, you are like a humped camel that never thirsts. The power you have within stirs energy in everything around you and I know you know I pray that you may continue to evoke positivity and preach good vibes. The good always win. No matter how bad the evil thinks they've taken over. Because there are bad people in this world. Full of self and deceived by the mere words that like-minded individuals utter carelessly. So I pray that your goodness may be cushioned in goodness, fashioned with admiration, protected with love and driven by a heart willing to find solutions. Find no rest until you have won. The sun shines brightest in the afternoon. In the heat of the moment. Rise up to the occasion and seize the day. Men have come and gone and many things you say will remain. Yours is a beautiful mind and I do not know who to praise. It reminds me of the egg-potato-hot water theory. We were all made the same but what we entertain in our minds, defines who we are. The egg hardens, the potato softens. I guess that's who we are. Everything we pick up is decided, again, in the heat of the moment. If it's in love and peace you sought, you found life. You found everlasting wisdom. Evil is ever-present in our lives. Colourful and selling its way in. Many have fallen this way. When their minds chose to entertain the thought of evil. It grows within and chews up the good. So I pray that your mind will remain safeguarded from that which walks evil. That tomorrow you will walk in confidence, giving positive vibrations to all you encounter and don't forget to mention to me if someone ever gives you this super-huge compliment: 

"Your mind is beautiful"

Understand My Work

Croxt:

Understand my work because maybe that's all it takes to support a friend with a vision. If you understand what they are about. Now, don't get me wrong, people do things for very many different reasons. The worst of them all is selfishness. Selfish motives burn bridges, destroy homes, tear down churches and show our true colours. The rainbows of life are unmatched and to be colourful, you need to be patient. These are the things people have listened to before. At least they stayed away from mistakes. We all need to know how to do that. Find courage in yourself because noone believes in you until you pour tarmac on your dirt roads. By then, it's always too late for them to walk all over you like they did before. The tarmac shows the dust clinging on their feet. Some of them will be ungrateful even if you wash them clean; but do good anyway. "Do good, go your way" my mum's favourite quote. Because to expect remuneration for even the smallest acts of kindness we perform is to deceive our minds and it hardens our hearts. Expectations are the worst kind of disease in  our minds. We build them up over time and when the promises fail to be delivered, we crush. We die from within. So expect nothing from anyone and if it's a good work you're doing, expect nothing less. Do more. Keep it 100. Burn when you have to, soothe when it needs to be done. Be compassionate; show love, share love. Be a reason for someone to smile. If I would have a girlfriend, her name would be Joy. For even in the sleepless nights, the haunted nightmares I would have; the faint reminder in the distance that she always comes in the morning, would keep my nights peaceful. Sometimes flowery. But let's not get so much into that. The trumpets just sounded and it sounded beautiful. When the call for dinner is ready and you know you're on diet. It smelled good the whole time the kitchen was lit. From a far. & now that the time has come, are you gonna eat or are you gonna starve? I need to know.

Maybe addiction, maybe not.

Croxt:

If I'll have to admit one thing, it will have to be the fact that I am now addicted to the smell of coffee. Simple things. At least the magic of its contents keeps me awake. That's what I need sometimes. Life gets busy, y'know? No one listens until you've said something bigger than what they had in mind. That's when they listen. You, keep away from the fires that you did not start. Unless, it's a spreading fire. Forest fires eat up everything in their way. And sometimes it's the small things. Like the thrown-away butt of a burning cigarette. Oblivious. We all are sometimes. The humble and smartest have learnt to obviate from useless opportunities to raise the haughty man's ego. They never know when to stop. Selfish ambition is a man sinking into his own pocket. Once we steal from our inner giver and give inwards only, self-serving, we have missed the point of humanity. To be human is to be part of a space where you are where you need to be. Isn't it obvious? Everything happens for a reason; and only the ungrateful man curses his worktools when his plans backfire. It happens, people. Sometimes, things just don't go right. Right? Right like we planned. And if we don't feel loved back we blame ourselves. No. You are a free bird. If the love you give is not well received, flap your wings to yonderlands and find your peace. They say, we get what we deserve. Really? What do you deserve in the first place? It gets complicated from here but trust me, we care more about the less important stuff. It's usually sorted, so don't sweat it. If the sun would hate the moon for stealing the show when he goes to sleep, wouldn't he hide the light the moon reflects from him? He would cover away from the moon and she, would stand a dull unseeable ball beyond our eyes scope. Vengeance kills the night. An eye for an eye is childishly foolish. We've somehow lost the power to empower each other. These kids need to be brought up and brought up well. Our youth need direction. Everyone needs to be reassured that we are so much more. Always have been. & that everything is going to be alright. So when shit weighs you down, dip into the river by the gates, and walk out clean. The journey is long and we need to be light to get there as fast and less tired. Because this world tires you. New wheels for new roads. That's how that shit goes. And if you ever get doubt in the possibilities of yourself creating, sit by me at my favourite coffee shop spot & I will remind you it is all what we were born to do. To create. That's how things outlive us. But what do most people do? Create in the most surprising realms. They create strife, they create hate, they create jealousy and leave all out the other chances to create something at least beautiful. The most consoling thing ringing through my mind right now, is that, all hope is never lost. And as I have written before, "Hope is never lost. Maybe just too disturbed to remain"

So maybe, we push away blessings by being too stubborn. We deny ourselves peace by running away from strangers and entertaining stereotypes. Things happen in our lives everyday and only the open mind, ready to learn the right and to unlearn the wrong, makes sense of it all. The books I read have a way of understanding what I need when I pick them up. So I flip the pages, unmoved by the cover. Because that's how every miner finds his gold. Every surface is potential but you have to dig in to find out. I sit here and stir two sugars into my cup of coffee (I prefer it with a bit of rum in the morning sometimes) as I skim through the ideas in my head. It's funny how the smell of coffee has become my friend. Maybe, I : to start living your dreams, you have to keep awake. Stay awake.

Mon Bebe

Croxt:

Mon Bebe cherié, I have a story I want to tell you! So today as the sun rose, I awoke, way before you did. Why do you always sleep smiling? Smh. You're weird. Or is it because I make you have nice nice dreams? Ha! I spiced up breakfast real quick; just how you like it. You woke up just when I was leaving and you know what that always means. The breakfast was nice. I cook so good sometimes. It's just how things are. We create what we want to see, to be. Work wasn't so much fun as usual. But you know me. I always bring it alive. It's always a party when I step into the building; everybody's hands go up; and they stay there; up there; because, all I do is win win win, no matter what. I scratched the car, by the way. Hate when that happens. You know how you're so careful and then someone else's carelessness puts you into trouble. It's a pain but the strongest and prudent men forgive such the easiest. Because they understand we all fuck up sometimes. No one's perfect, babe. Maybe only you, as long as I keep these loveglasses on ;) You know why I think you're perfect? Because I've heard you speak of your imperfections and they are wholly a beauty to behold. And where I have my doubts, you've loved that about you so much. And I'll never tear you away from anything you love. Such is what makes us happy. That's why sometimes I say I'll give you anything you want, even if you clearly can see that I have nothing. You're a strong woman. A beautiful strong one. Anddd, your mother knows you've found someone to cherish. Someone who listens to you. And if I ever should fall from this high place she has enshrined me in, I beg you to know that I will have tried my best and fought every battle I will need to be engaged in to keep you. Because someone just does not let go of a good thing. I believe in us. I believe the stars have wished us well. I believe the rains blessed us that night as we kissed. The dust on our feet for the long hours we walked hand in hand. The way you smiled, the way you looked at me. It's beautiful, when you finally meet someone who understands the language of your eyes. Keep them. Treasure them. The road is well driven if we keep our eyes on it. So let's not believe the lies and listen to our hearts. They play every tune true. The night is choking in swiftly and before I pass the last breathe for today awake, as I fall into slumber, remember, I have always loved you Mon Bebe cherié. See you in the morning, we have a story to finish!!

Shredded Roots

Croxt:

Occasionally, the closets of the wilderness open windows and send forth turbulent winds that unpluck trees with roots that have dried. The farmer runs through his farm with hoes and woes the marketplace would never understand. No pain, no gain. I guess that's why ships sail off into the vastness of the ocean seeking a light. The compass that guides should never be left at home. Getting lost is terrifying; the last thing you want to do on a journey. We trust the boats, we trust the oars, we trust the sails, we trust our experience but with the winds, we only hope they dance to our tune and get us home. Where we belong. You can't know yourself if you haven't found yourself. The reason we win is not always because we came prepared but because our souls were never defeated. That's why we teach our boys to be courageous, our girls to be fearless. The stars rise to shine us to sleep as the concrete moon bears our sleepless worries. The sheep outside are in a recital and you can't stop but wonder how things flow together in such beautiful rhythm. But let's not be sheep, following blindly. We've been built for each other but with decisions to make. Some of them are careless, others really needed to be made. We won't also watch people get stuck in thorns or fall into ditches and not help get them out. For these reasons, we have a heart. And the decisions we make, define us. All this in the hope that we do not open the judgement room in people's hearts. Some of them see good in a lot of things and wish you well. They are there to support, to offer a ladder to get you out of the ditch you tripped into. But then again, some of them are hurt and they could destroy trees you planted. So if it is to plant you desire to plant, plant trees with roots so deep and too strong to be shredded.

The language of my eyes

Croxt:

Because sometimes I always wanted to get lost into my own world and disappear. I badly wanted to love and bring to life every one and thing around me. I brought warmth where it was needed. Everyone cherishes those moments. At least, some of them do. Also, I had wanted to connect more with people from otherlands that I knew less about. You know how we are all tuned to our own desires? Yeah. So I always feel it best to put my best dress on, on days I feel defeated. But then sometimes I put my best dress on because I feel excited and super optimistic. We do the same things for different reasons. & even the few we choose to love, love us back at their own will (sometimes convenience). We are soldiers of a tomorrow that knows less peace. Chaos. The vultures there are alive and well fed. Things like these terrify me. But have I told you before how complicated things sometimes can get? Like you're picking up flowers in the morning, you decide to swim, lunch came a bit late, drove to the mall, bought things you really didn't need. But, it's Stacy's birthday in two days anyway. The delicate things in this world are not even the most fragile. No. The strongest ones are the ones on a treadmill, an egg angling and dangling at the edge of a mountain. Because we have put them there. We give power to those things we value and sometimes, we are lucky enough to find love. We inspire each other, we build one another. Of course mistakes will knock us down to our knees but we are strong. We have always been. So we will keep walking even if it means crawling ourselves out; even if it means dragging ourselves through the mud. The rope is untied where there is doubt and this opens loose more others. Say, you don't have to be constricted to choose sides. Freedom of choice but do not sit on the fence. Some of them have sharp things and stuff that cut. But let's just rub the dirt off and I'll say, I might be the one with the eyes that see until they don't. The language of my eyes is one I've come to understand so far. & by compassion; to love. We are cherished when we empower, hated when we despise. Be of fruitful hearts, flowery souls and spread good shades of love. Let people know you heart them and that you at least had one of those heartbeats of yours (for them) when you beheld them in your eyesight or when you remotely thought about them. And if we shall choose to stop the hate and cultivate love in abundance, maybe we will help me understand the language of my eyes more.

Salad Days

Our salad days pass,
and so fast by do they.
Like the billowing smoke of a house on fire,
and all that's left behind is the ashes,
the pile of ashes laying under the brands, still burning,
the crackles from the charcoal, still humming,
the shoe-less cinders, still running,
members of an ember that won't stop turning,
a foot of soot, just where you'll soon start learning..
that time and tide waits, but for no man.