15 Seconds of Fame

Croxt:

Double-tap, tap tap, into the love and affection for that which you see. Flames. If you like it, put a ring on it. A ring of love and let the others know you're unashamed of that which you find pleasing. Blue dots join progressively to form an opinion of the skies above. If you can't solve the problems down here, how will you be able to solve the mystery of the creator? Stop running away and address what disturbs your peace. That's why you are here. To be great and famous and still not use that platform to fight for the afflicted you know about is to be blinded by wealth. Compassion. You are not worth the praise if you do not deserve it. Or if you forget why you started. The faith we have in you is power we've given to you. Any word you said will be considered at least by someone. So speak to make things right. Work to heal and inspire. Make life easier and better for those who you can. That's how you deserve praise. When you leave all else and shape brighter futures. Comfort the deserted and light up the dark homes. Build a shelter for the homeless and prepare food for the hungry. A Ferrari for a birthday present would make such a difference. But do it your own way. What excites your suppressed desire to help. Music is never enough, your image is not enough if it doesn't symbolize the face of freedom. Breathe hope to the world and you will be blessed a million-fold. You reap what you sow. Don't sow hate in people's hearts, don't sow division. It will end up breaking your soul into pieces. Understand the other person's position and we are way past negative criticism. You don't build by discouraging and labelling inferior names to those you meet. We are not any better than the next person. To be a nice person in the face of someone and a plotting snake behind their back is to cut your dreams short. You give them your power and once you bring them down, they go down with it. But once you build, you grow with them. You fight with them and you win with them. Be grateful for everything. Don't project your pain and regrets on others. You kill two birds with one stone that could have been dislodged by the other bird. Be brave, never stop fighting. Never stop standing for those who can't stand for themselves. You will know peace when the world around you swims in it. You will love peace if you fight to protect it by shutting down the evil and muting their 15 seconds of shame.

Syntax Era

Croxt:

It's the Syntax era and the sandals of gold dress my feet. My robe kisses my feet. I have not known defeat and that's a really huge feat. Accomplishments! Open the floodgates of heaven and let it rain. It's when you achieve some of these things that you look back and see all the things you hate; you look around and pick out all the things you hate; you look inside and see all the things you hate. To change the world, you first cleanse the latter, yourself. All the things you hate about yourself, the clatter, you work on them. You wash yourself and seek for guidance, even if from within. You stand tall when you have to but humble yourself enough never to project your weaknesses onto the other. You build others up, you don't make them feel small. That smalls your mind. If you think of others as better versions of themselves, you better your mind. & it's like in everything else in this world, the more you give freely, the more free your soul becomes. Tighten the guitar strings and lace up your dancing shoes. Clear your throat and practice your vocals. The birds are about to join us as we harmonize this song of hope tonight. The skies are disguised as emptiness but whenever you see the blues, remember it's always out there looking for you. A roof over your head. Somebody call a doctor and tell them I've been eating an apple a day. Fighting a battle a day. Peacemaker in the streets, lovemaker in the sheets. I've drowned in a bottle of Whiskey and stepped out sober. I've walked through fire and calmed the winds as the hot splints massaged my zonked out limbs. I am in the periphery, afraid of no one. The fear-mongers have lost and their coffins have been prepared. They nominated the 6 to bury them. May their disturbed souls rest in peace. I have cultivated love even on the dry rocks. I do not see it as wasting seeds but hope that even something good can come from nothing. I will have needed the soils to accept my efforts and given the right sphere of growth to my words. I am in an era of growth and it never stops. When you stop growing physically, I guess it's time to grow spiritually, or emotionally, or mentally, or all combined. Challenge yourself and learn something new. Run away from the things that keep you grounded and challenge the things that make you doubt your strengths. Face your fears and know which fights to pick. Don't be scared to be scarred if you feel the urge to stand up for yourself. Never let anyone sit on your face, step on your toes or injure your thinking. When something steals your peace away, fight back, not to injure, but to regain your peace back. & don't get me wrong, none of these wars are physical. We are beyond that. If you still seek a woman for her looks, you're still missing the point. How long will you go? How short will you keep falling? There is power in the name of Jesus, to break every chain. Rise this day, it's an era of good vibes and positive thought. It's the era where we challenge ourselves to do better. It's the era of forgiving all those who wronged us. It's the era of listening and learning. It's the era of cultivating patience. It's the era of questioning the skewed. It's the era of rising beyond our limits. It's the era of humility and greatness. It's the era of Syntax.

Sifu, the Kung Fu poet

Croxt:


Throw praises to the eagle unchained fighting her own battles fiercely and with ease and fluidity, only she understands, in the wilderness of thought and unanswered intellectual curiosities. A vapor in the wind but a torrent of cascading sequence of knowledge upon knowledge that she stumbled upon as she sought to find herself. She's an eagle, I rehash. An eagle who rehearsed her thoughts until they drove her to her constructed destination. "It's all in your mind," they had said but don't you know dreams come true! I've seen limits broken and reversed before and evil crushed to powder. Formless and ashed into the oceans like a jar of someone's remains. I've seen the ash sink into the pits of the abyss as I rose my way to the top, directly facing the sun. I'm grateful to the Giver for my vision. It stands undistorted and I descry even the unseen. My eyes are bigger than most but because I've grown them to see even the unseen. It's because I need to eat and as we all know, a drowning man will clutch at a straw. So I ready my boat and stock my ship with enough supplies. My wings would rise me above the waters, but I have no need for fish. I eat what pleases my stomach, what befriends my tongue. And every morning I pray that my prey is at the right place at the right time of the day and because I've risen way above my limits, high-soared beyond imagination, I have touched the face of God. He kissed me back. With favour, with life. All I ever desired. Now, there's power cased in my heart that He only holds the lock for. There's thunder in my heart when it beats and a flash of lightning pumps up in my veins. When it rains and I can't take it anymore, the lightning escapes through my eyes touching the ground, an impulse of divine thought. So I've procured the meaning of life on so many levels and distinguished my desire for a good life. I have extinguished impossibilities and all the bullshit that comes along with it. I have dared to dream. & now, like Martin Luther King Jr., I have a dream. The Kung Fu dream. To be a master like Sifu. She's everything perfect, her endeavours scream victory. She is skillful in all she does and the energy she has spent cultivating her work has been time well spent! I want, most importantly, to strengthen my body and mind, learning and perfecting my skills. Excellence achieved through long practice. I am patient, I'll do the time. I'll perfect Wu Shu, the art of war, and when I rise up to the occasion, I'll flap my large wings and rise up far beyond the eye can see and I hope then, I'll be worth making a movie about.

On a Dry Dead Leaf

Croxt:

I ashed my cigar on a dried and dead leaf and talked some more about how to raise the dead but necessary beliefs. This conversation. It fixes the broken and heals the wounded. It gave me hope that tomorrow even if we fell, we'd rise among the stars. So you keep fighting till you get there, no days off. Nowadays I scoff at the underthought ideas spilling into the world. We've been told to think before we speak. Stick your nose into other people's business and it might get chopped off. So you're left breathing fire on a calamity you brought to yourself. Stick to the plan and that seed you have, plant it. Let it grow, let it rise. Allow the roots to grow as deep as they can get because the stem needs to be strong enough to hold your branches in place. Plan ahead because, yes, you'll always drop a bunch of dead dry leaves that no longer serve you up there. Don't cry over them. They fell for a reason and they'll give you the nutrients you need in time once they are ready. So be patient and give thanks even in the face of calamity. The life they would give you they will. Miss them when they are gone and hope the winds don't blow them too far away from your foundations. Even if they do, pray they land at the feet of they who need it more than you do. Leave me alone and drop dead if it's axing my life away you intend. Mind your business and I'll beautify Mother Nature my way; the only way I know how to. If I'm doing something wrong, advise me how to do better. Show me the better path I'll need to take. We all learn from each other. And if you're not ready to advise someone, walk away, wait till you are. It doesn't hurt. So many people have been misguided before. That hurts more. And it pains how you keep giving them what they think they want instead of what they actually need. So be a rose flower and look good every time and smell good every time and stand tall every time without a need to boast your beauty. Be alive and stay that way. Not dead to your ambitions and not weak and seeking permission to grow. Grow. Through the shadows, through even others' leaves and branches. Anyone who asks you not to grow towards the sunlight is asking you to be a dead dry leaf. Rise above them. Even if it's yourself. Reach for the skies. Touch the clouds and let them wash the dust off you occasionally when it pours. Be steadfast and be brave. The battle isn't won from the skies, remember. It is won from your roots, through the stems and in the midst of your clouds. How strong have you always been? Because being the fastest and first to reach to the top if not well prepared does not save you when you come falling down. Let the dead leaves drop but don't let the winds swing you wherever they head to. The breeze keeps blowing this smoke away from my face and that last puff almost had me coughing. I let go of the almost dead last bit of the cigar, still lit, by mistake and immediately hoped it wouldn't fall on a bald man's head down the street I'm on. Oops, it did. I'm really sorry I couldn't get down there quick enough to apologize. 'Cause I'm up here, way up, floating on a dead dry leaf.

Lithe and unoffered Tithes

Croxt:

You reap what you sow, you know, that's how that shit goes. So I've raised my brows a bunch of times and sometimes I'm tied, my tongue, this tongue that has lied. So many times. Lied and seemed too eager too soon to seek for forgiveness. So I wait till it calms, when it rains it pours. These late hours I stay up for power, take my showers and lay down to sleep inside my covers. I'm covered in shame. I haven't been giving to Caeser what belongs to his treasures and these sharp scissors threaten to tear my locks and make me bald. I'm a Samson. They keep forgetting I'm bold. So strong I'll break your locks even after you've swallowed the key but for the love of a woman, I fell for your plots. I'm like everyone else but special, I've embraced my flaws. When the time to be weak is at hand, let your strength take its toll. Keep calm and let things pass. That's what they always do; pass away. Because we only need a little patience to get our wings and fly away. I'll pay my dues. I know better. I know no loans are happy loans and I also know no laws can be over long gone broken and unpaid without breaking hearts. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry my pain became your pain. I never intended to. All I wanted was your dreams to be attended to. And to be someone else is something I never pretended to. I always wanted to calm your chaos and I'm pretty sure I did a good job. You've always believed in me 💙

Dress good; Good dress

Croxt:

Classy men are classic beasts. You dress who you are, not necessarily for people. That's what I've learnt. And by the way, are we all not cut from the same cloth but handed to different tailors? Argh. Can't we all be the same? Afforded the same luxuries? Things like these piss me off. So a lion without his mane is a cub. Boys will be boys but men will dress well. Who are you? Who do you think you are? Who do you wish to become? Fire. From our forethers. Firefathers. It's impossible to not find even a single man who dressed extraordinarily well for his generation. Find your pattern and fit into it. Become yourself and change your wardrobe. Better yourself. I know responsibilities crowd our minds; we are fathers, guardians, brothers, role models. Tell me how you still do not see why we should all dress the part? How? Let's face it., it never has to be suit and tie but always dress well head to toe. To rise to the top you need to be doing what others are not and that's basically dressing the man you want to become. Don't be afraid to be labelled overly ambitious. Any king would rather that than all else. To be well presented, well groomed. And it is the flower that emits a more beautiful scent that attracts more bees wanting a part of it. And only sweet things come out of it all. Honey. Hurry and change your wardrobe. And dress your heart too. Be well dressed inside as out. Don't false advertise. Men really weren't born to fake it till they make it. No. They were born to wear their armour and take its responsibility. Let's all men, at least, look and smell good for our ladies. Let's play our part. All these beautiful ladies go through a lot sometimes to look good for us and it's only fair if we are grateful and considerate enough to dress good and remember to tell her how she's always looking good in a good dress.

Fly Like a Butterfly

Sting like a bee and just let me be. To be or not be,  never question my sanity. Like Muhammad Ali, beat the speed of light. With all your might, calm the oceans tonight. Together we will fight. Just search the light, tonight is the night. Let me hear you say, we gon' be alright. Tonight, the skies share in our plight, our daylight, our delight. So ascend, spread your wings and fly. Don't listen to the lies in your eyes, believe me you'll fly. Fry me eggs in the morning and I'll sugar your coffee just like how you like it. This is real love, you're true to me, no diggity, we fly in dignity, I'll be the Meek to you Nicki, and everything you pick in the mall is yours, chérie. Lately, you've been busy busy, but still my life is easy easy. Everything you say makes me go crazy crazy. Everywhere you touch makes me dizzy dizzy.  We get busy. I know, you miss me when I'm gone. Can't wait till I'm home. Let's call it a draw, you win you're my all. Let's do this. Let's get it. All. Let's fly, so high, into the skies, just like a kite, a kite in the night. You are my delight, my angel, and my light and tonight, let me see you fly, like a butterfly. I sting like a bee.

Not even close to ya bullshit

Croxt:

Don't judge me. For very many reasons but most importantly because I'm a curtain, you're a curtain that can always be opened. I'm a captain you're the boat so you just don't sink and we gon' be alright. Or what did you think I'm thinking? That the winds would trip and wind up taking us on a trip to doom? That your gloom is my gloom and am hiding under your shade? Shame. I'm certain it pertains to yourself and the way you're lost so let me be your compass and teach you how to get out the most. I assume you presumed am close to your bullshit. Or even miles away worse than your bullshit. But I'm actually not. These falsified images of yours would burn red hot on fire if I chose to zoom in and focus the light of the sun on it. Lenses. So you don't even know half my bullshit for you to shit blue. You think you think deep but the shallow waters are sinking your hopes. Your ship. Hold on tight to that rope and hope you never let go. Potato, poteto. Potaro, potero. Poraro, porero. Furthest proximities but I'll shy away from your calamities. So I colour my forest trees green as you axe yours for firewood. You ask if I'm any good and I'm the one preparing your food. You say I'm often misunderstood but I stood up for you when nobody else would. So set up the fire and use my energy as fuel. I'll burn in uncertain certainties and stretched lengths, exceeded limits, choked laughter and stifled silent disasters, calamities, while seeing how far I can go and how you might never even catch up. I sing in the showers sometimes so I can shower you with nice tunes. You don't have to believe me, I'm like the spiralling tubes. You'll know I always looked out for you when you land on your feet with a splash in the swimming pool I prepared for you. I've aired my views and created your crew. Something to believe in so you don't feel the need to believe in me. Something new. And don't judge anyone else of course, because they're probably not even close to ya bullshit.

Train your thoughts

Croxt:

You only think with your eyes, that's why you're so easy to fool. You see garbage, you'll speak garbage. You see garbage and think. Then you get it out of the way first. You clean garbage. I only think with my I. Myself, my me. So I'm not easy to fool because my mind spots the wrongs and thinks hard how to make things right. I'm not easy to fool because I do my very best to understand every situation I find myself in. It always takes time like always. Things take time and they happen every time. The train tracks have me side-tracked here and not because of fear or coming not prepared but at its existence. Surely, a great invention. I see a train chi-ching across the valley and smoke rising from its head, occasionally saying something only the tracks would understand. Smoke rising from it's head.

Flowing back to it's back. Making decisions, keep pulling, removing the waste as soon as it appears. So we are all trains I've come to assume. Carrying people on board, in our hearts, minds and all. They stay there because they met us at the station at the same time they intended to leave. They might be quiet but it's because they trust. They believe the train they are in is headed to the destination they willingly paid for. It's choices we all make and it comes with the consequences. So let your head be free and do its work free. Let the smoke of confusion, stress, worry, jealousy, negativity, arrogance, regret, shame, fear, hate, selfishness, pretense, gossiping, disloyalty and all that bullshit; let it all be expelled away from you. Keep yourself clean and you'll help people reach their destinations. Keep your mind sober of negative thoughts and only build on the positive. Then believe, que sera sera.

Never Lose Hope

Croxt:

Time and again, you'll have to try. Never lose hope and never be shy, grab a candle, grab it by the balls. Where you're coming from, should always move behind you. Look for something new, let's try something new. Me and you. Even if we're few. I'll prepare the stew, because I know where you stood. Never ever stop, the journey just got started. Never say never and whenever or wherever you find yourself let whatever comes your way be a testimony of your fight, a diary of your flight, a memory in your sight, a closet for your spite, walking in disguise and stop dealing with these guys. Put your life in order, clean your temple, be a rebel, fight for survival. Hope for the better things; one day you'll be a King, one day she'll be my Queen. The crown is for those who never lost hope, the battle isn't won by those who fought the most. What's the cost? How much you charged up, back to back? I wanna know. I wanna grow. I don't wanna fall. No. I wanna climb up the mountains, slide down into the valleys, dive into the rivers, swim to my destination. That's my ambition. I wanna fly, so high, like a kite. Beyond the universe. Beyond the stars & the galaxies beyond. I wanna rise, so high, like a kite. & dance in the winds, work even in the rains, shine in the light of the sun, of the moon and of the stars. In your eyes, I'll never lose hope. In my eyes, I'll always face my battles right, fight till I die, till I don't have to no more.


Never lose hope, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Never lose hope, you're almost there.
Never lose hope, not again, this is just but a game.
Never lose hope, you're almost there.

Take me to church

Croxt:

I have always wanted to be happy. Excited for life in the only way true love could offer. So it's late and confusingly calm this chilly Saturday night, almost morning, still restless in bed. Mine is half the King-size I deserve but the crown seldom fits the head before it's carrier is ready. From my bed I hear the church bells ring and the hymns in my head can't stop but keep going. The harmony in things myself I do not understand, how all would blend in together with such ease. But we are all children of our destinies and as I looked up to the stars tonight, I saw all your faces among them. Glittering from a distance. My eyes are almost blinded and my dreams are just that, my dreams. Mine. And so are the sins, smeared haphazardly across my past. So I sing tonight as the heavens open. We are vulnerable ourselves to the largest extent. Larger than any other. The animals have it better. Ours is more than body, ours is defeating. We are born to be everything, I've thought before. Because, why not? Yet the clean paths are devoid of things that might trip us but the other side looks more turnt. So I've braved the cold nights and sung some sad songs. The golden gates are pearly and the shadows have risen beyond reason. It's when you know you're about to lose something you really value that you fight to protect it. That kind of girl is all well dressed up in all the extremes possible. She's beautiful and well-mannered, if those still exist. She spreads positivity and braves faith but to be honest, I've been out of the loop for a really long time to know. We forget too soon even if 2000 years are a long way past. I can imagine myself walking up the staircase that leads to your large wooden doors. Your doors are always open and you'll usher me in with an embrace & a "Nice to see you! Welcome back to the house of your father." Step by step, the hallway between the rows will lead me to the cross. I will walk past the congregation. Each with their own battles to fight. Mine with mine as well. But to be a sheep you need to know when to flock and when to hold the mantle when you're ready to teach. It's the thing with growth. You stay in one place for far too long, you stop growing if you stop challenging yourself. The change you want to see in the world, hidden in your heart, has only one voice. That is yours. To speak and to fight when you have to. The orchards of the garden smell beautiful tonight and am surprised the price we have to pay to get the prize has already been paid. So when we are okay in the sun, let's never forget. It's things we take for granted that come back to consume us. Let's be grateful for all and it's like you're reading my mind; the morning is here and I'm yet to even catch some sleep. I plan to set my alarm early just ao I can be ready when you knock the door tomorning to take me to church.

Take me to church, I'm dressed up

Take me to church, I'm messed up.

Take me to church, my sins are many

Take me to church, I'm done escaping.

Take me to church today

Take me to church tomorrow

Take me to church every day,

I wanna pray.

*tomorning - Tomorrow morning

Intoxicated Swimming Pools #2

Croxt:

Swimming pools and sinking dishes. Washing thoughts and dirty laundry and dirty socks and dirty children. Play a game with my mind; a puzzle of infinite waters and a complicated maze of endless rhetorics. I can see beyond the eye can see. I look deeper and once you've defeated the fear of sinking, you dive deeper. I stay afloat now, row my boat with confidence. Buoyancy. I'm heading North West according to my compass and it's where I've always intended to go. I've met a lot of boats on my way.. some too fancy and others needing help in supplies. All boats are different and the motive sometimes, different as well. I've seen people on boats desperately seeking the shore. Impatient boats. I've seen people on boats never wanting to leave. How much do you need to? So some of these boats look like they are floating but they are actually sinking from within. & the bigger the boat, the larger the loss. So keep your hands reaching out for the waters infront of you and push them back. Kick-splash your way to the finish line and never stop midway to rest. Practice till you no longer need to. Learn how to breathe above water even when in motion. If it's anything you need in this world, know how to access it the easiest way possible. And don't be so dependent on it after you get it because then you will never fully immerse yourself back into the depths. Have and take what you need, there's always enough for everyone. Don't be greedy. Be selfless, one with the waters. The blue waters will respect how you treat them and you will find favour in their tides. They will sing your name and caress your tired limbs. Push and pull harder sometimes, you'll get there faster. Learn and learn always. Learn how to be better. Learn how to stand even in the bottomless oceans. Learn how to get there and from there to your destination, even if you're still just here with me, practicing in an intoxicated swimming pool. 

Gimme Life, Gimme Favour

Croxt:

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine. So he sat on the fancy streetchairs a few steps away from the bar he lodged in tonight. He stepped outside away from the loud music and lit a cigarette to listen to his own music. He needed that sense of calm right now. He wanted to ease his mind. He must have pushed his foot a little bit in further. When girls would look at him, they would tell him they love him and most were sure they did not even know why. Charm. I could swear sometimes it feels bless to just listen to the happenings of your heart. Mine is jolly. It's beautiful. I hear we create our own paradises but I'm never too quick to believe these things. But the fountains of water dig deeper where they fall. That's how you know your worth. Assess yourself and spend money with a sober mind. If it is to be really happy you want, it doesn't really matter ;) I'll ask for a million things from you and in all that, I'll compress them all into two and ask you to: 1. Gimme life, 2. Gimme favour.

It's all I ever desired.

Intoxicated Swimming Pools

Croxt:

How swimming pools are painted different shades of either blue or green, gives me a tingly feel, kinda nostalgic, of the vast blue waters of the Indian Ocean. I am enclosed in between four walls of an intoxicated swimming pool. The waters can choke and the temperatures are different. It's the thing with new territories, we are confused at what to expect and we stay far or choose to dive into our problems as soon as they appear head-first. But of course you do not dive into situations you can't swim your way in and the good Lord knows it'll sure as hell be as frightening if someone else pushed you into them. So you need to be ready. You need to keep awake. The most ready are usually the most prepared. You first touch the waters with your hands, almost, with a scoop. A feel of the temperatures. Then you sit at the edge of one of the sides and gently immerse then play with the intoxicated waters with your legs. You reach for more with both hands and pour them on your thighs. That sensation. Then you kind of wash both of your whole arms with the waters and now the temperatures are more friendly with your body. Or your body has chosen to accept and embrace. You pour more over your shoulder and your back freezes for a millisecond. You splash some on your chest and belly and your heart skips a beat. Gasp. You fit into your atmosphere and sometimes you force yourself. The waters might always be cold. Even in the sunny summers. So you can't keep postponing that maybe it will be warmer in the evening. You make a choice, you believe in yourself. They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and I say, a swim of a thousand miles begins with a single dip in the waters. You get over the cold-fear you have in your mind and dip yourself in. You jump into the water and the territory becomes familiar. You do the things you know well with some confidence and ease. Experience. When you don't know what to do and how to do it well, it gets a bit confusing. So you learn all these things, you teach yourself how to swim. You learn how to stay afloat, how to move in the water (the most streamlined you can get, the better), how to hold your breathe, how to breathe, how to think and most importantly, how not to think. The problem with humans, is some of us overdo it when it comes to thinking. Or, underdo it. We overthink situations sometimes and create problems that never existed, we quarrel with others and shift blame throwing it around. So to get through the intoxicated waters, you have to not think sometimes and flow with the waters as they come. You don't worry about Pizza deliveries, the show you're yet to finish watching, the classes you missed today to swim and all the hue and cry. You just believe and in believing, you move unmoved; you swim undisturbed by nothing. You keep your eyes open in these waters or the uninvited will flow into your ears. You keep your eyes open, head above the water every once in a while and look behind your back occasionally as you move ahead. Awareness. Knowing where you are, why you're there, how to act there, how to be considerate, how to be respectful, even to yourself. You learn how to grow. The good thing is that, every time you keep trying, every time you'll get better. You never go wrong with trying unless you try too hard. That's how people drown. So you try enough to be one with the water, to move yourself in her with ease. You make the tides favour you. Don't you know that if you never ask the answer will always be "No"? Everyone's looking out for themselves and the people they care about notwithstanding your existence. So when you are available in their lives it's for a reason. Make everything better, everything easier. Be there for them in the way you are comfortable with and never harbour evil negative thoughts about a person in your head for whatever reason. You give them power over your thoughts and to be honest, that's your being. Don't be bitter. Also do not take advantage of anyone else. Never. The moment you feel like you almost are step back. Don't take people's kindness for granted. Appreciate and be grateful. It's other people who will teach you how to swim and swim well.Learn the basics, understand the concepts and you're good to go. Never forget where you're swimming from and where you are swimming to; it's in the distance that we know how far away from home we are. Don't ever be afraid to learn. No matter how old you are. If you think swimming would be a good try, and you have the time, fuck what they say and dive into your fantasies.

VIXI [Seventeen]

Croxt:

It has been 17 years since my father passed away. It was dismal. The August 7th bomb blast on the US Embassy in Nairobi took his life that fateful day. The memories fade and of course the times change but I guess the number 17 has always struck a chord inside me. It frightens me how sometimes. But then again it might have been because I was born on the 17th day of October. Trusting Wikipedia, the number holds many important significances in pure mathematics, as well as in applied sciences, law, music, religion, sports and other cultural phenomena. 17 has a meaning from the Bible too, I found out! It symbolizes "overcoming the enemy" and "complete victory." Now, I don't know if my father might have been a good man for I was too young to know the ways of men then, but he read his Bible. And he taught me how to read mine. And of course there's an energy people walk in that can never be forgotten. See, my mother had found in him a rock, a pillar, an indomitable tower to shelter in. So much until it was no more. It is the thing with fate; you never know when the power will cut. So you keep your candles close, for you may need to light your way through the darkness. That's why cars have headlights to lead them through the woes of the nighttime highways. And you can imagine them go off unannounced in the middle of a journey with a sudden bend right ahead the corner of the slope on the road you were driving on. You hold your breath and expect the worst hoping the driver was ready and is afraid for his life as much. Or endears it so. I am not as good with words as I would love to be, but I'm in love with even the little beautiful words of kindness people have for others. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all unless it needs to be said. The flowers remind you of our fragile lives and how easy it is to cease to exist. Once unplucked, we wither. Our bodies are drained all life from them. We become no more. Eyes still and body weak. Yet a good man is known by the impact he leaves on other people's hearts and thoughts and possibly actions. Hope. Why are you remorseful for the things you are remorseful for? Because of the attachment, the relationship, the investment, the benefits, the time, the growth, the love. All these things. They mix together sometimes and the larger the disbelief that this could be happening, the more we find ourselves in suffering. It hits close home. People will always be there when you need them and after a tragedy, they stay closer to comfort you. To help you pick up, to remind you that things will get better. Others stay close to see how far you'll go and how much you've been broken. So for those ones, rise and ride above the tides. We started carrying the burden by ourselves after a short time. Nothing was the same. You have to learn to pick up and keep driving even in darkness after you've stopped by the side to check on the lights and to catch your breath. Grateful that at least you survived. Saved to see a new day. People will always be nice but even the nicest people have their limits. So you become considerate. You don't tell everyone your problems because some might delight in your misfortunes. Help will always come if you seek it in the right ways and even if not enough, sometimes all we need is a little push to get the wheels rolling. I'm certain my family and I will forever be indebted to the ones who were there and we pray your blessings multiply a thousandfold. You wish well those who wish you well and you pray for those who wish evil upon you, that they might find the peace lacking in their hearts and anything else they might be looking for. For the ones gone, we miss them dearly. May their souls rest in peace. May they find solace in the fact that today we will choose to do and to be better.
17 sad songs from 17 long years for 17 dark days.

VIXI: I have lived, I have survived.

Lady Mockingbird

I have seen your patience,
and the beauty that tags along with it
oh, you who there's not much to.
But the voice in your belly!
Yes, you are cute,
yes, your image is striking.
But you are unseen in the camouflaging stems of the grey trees.
You are nonchalant but valiant
echoing through the winds of your environment.
You understand all, and you quip well behind the unsure.
You make them sound better.
You mock their bitter.
I'm honestly appalled by your duplications,
a split mirror reflecting what it's not.
But that's who you are,
so I've come to understand you.
I realized you mirror the good in everyone.
& I hope today you'll never stop.
Better yourself by bettering others,
make them feel special.
Not entitled, but special in their own way.
If they hesitate to accept you,
check yourself and be considerate.
If they make it hard for you to voice your consternations,
fly away and find another home beyond the eighty eight constellations.
beside the railroad tracks,
or by the runway at the airport,
or the corral, or by the silky waters of the stream a mile away
Or dive in deeper into the depths of the forest
and curve a niche out for yourself,
wherever you feel comfortable.
Let the skies know you speak for them all,
even for the silent.

But a man with intentions

Croxt:

I am just but a man with intentions. Each as every King is, has his own, some lead by circumstances. We plan, but in my faith, God allows. So the tiny specks of need in our veins and boiling blood, drives our will, our desire to get, our motive to intend. I'll pretend I know you and tell you why I think we are different. Until we figure out how we are not. But to be honest, my heart has its impurities but I have tried as much to clean it. I clean my thoughts and wash my words. I bleach them sometimes too if need be. Somethings should be spoken lightly about. The more we drown into conversations about the unimportant the less important our thoughts become. So you grow to love the fruits of silence in pursuit of more wisdom. You connect with yourself more because, trust me, you are your greatest teacher. Teach yourself the things of this world, know your way around most things. Want to know. Mostly, for yourself. Yearn to grow and you'll earn your bow. See, people are obsessed with things that don't even matter. They lose sleep even over the smallest non-issues. If your eyes are hugely concentrated on the smallest things, how will your attention be drawn to the larger things unless they start moving towards you, to pin you down? Let's make sense. Let's have intentions that are defined and well-thought. Seek guidance when you have to. You don't have to do this on your own. Own the night and owe nobody nothing. Hold no evil intention in your mind. Let go of anything that your spirit fights against. It's human to rebel but then again, it might stray you away. Don't get lost trying to seem smart. That's dumb. You are not special over anyone. Never think of yourself better than anyone. Let others speculate let them do their statistics. It's not yours to elevate yourself. Stay humble. Grow, but stay humble. Do good and expect no repay, that's how your heart sends thanksgiving above. You surrender your selfishness and the skies bless you a hundredfold. You just need to trust. Nowadays, times have changed. We all want to seem better. We are losing ourselves in a mayhem intending to prove a point. We waste time. Then again, never ever forget to have fun. Don't dull. Go out there and enjoy yourself. Start with the smallest moments with yourself. Amuse yourself. Let your friends know you're willing to make them smile. Be there for everyone, don't seclude yourself. We find meaning in these things. If it's to travel you wish to travel, grow your wings and fly. Let nobody tell you it can't be done. Tell me how, we have people who label things impossible yet have never had the courage to try. Don't listen to them. Climb the mountains you desire to climb. The higher you go, the "cooler" you become. Be a light. A role model. Teach only the good vibes because everyone already has their own tormenting them. Preach peace. Not indifference. Understanding and respect. You will learn to open the closed doors with a secret knock. The ones who find it, find the key to happiness.