[COLLAB] Buckets and Hearts [COLLAB]

Buckets and Hearts (Love & Basketball)

If basketballs were shaped as the heart is, I wouldn't have bounced it as enough times to score every time I reached for her rim. See, you have to be more careful with the hearts of young maidens. Once they catch fire for you, they burn for you. You roll off your high horse and you need to take care of them. Yes, you ball till you fall. And it's in every fall that you realize the stakes are high and winter is coming. So you seek to find love for the warmth.

Where do I even try to do a pick up? You make it seem as if I can’t play the game as hard as you do. Don’t even act as if you never needed someone to hold you down because every hooper needs someone to come through with a clutch. It’s not so much to ask that every girl needs to be well-taken care of. It's expected that you fulfill your role as King, warrior, magician, and lover once you take it. And it’s during the cold months that everything turns to ice and I would be the one to keep your spark ablaze.

Never really sure if it was love or infatuation or in my case, as I've forced myself to believe, taking advantage. Admirers, I've found, are easier to love. They are halfway there. You don't have to fight much to win; you don't have to sweat it like for the big games. So I gave her my jersey, #17, and she wore it like her second life.

I always would love to think there was some love involved. Off court I knew I had a thing for you, but like all players their minds wander off a lot to somewhere else and 99.9% of the time, they happen to be jocks. So, when you said, “Hi, I’m a player.” I thought about the whole arrangement and coincidence of us meeting and without a doubt in my mind, I said, “Hi, I’m the coach.” Perhaps, it was played too easy, but wouldn’t you have cut to the chase right away? It’s everything you never thought possible. And if I was going to be that coach on the sidelines I would never short change myself either from being your biggest fan and cheerleader.

She would show up to every game and I'd see her on the stands, screaming my name to fame. You know you're lucky when the tides are in your favor. We were labeled the hottest couple of the league for the longest time but after a while it becomes too much responsibility to deal with. She's understanding and all and like all other girls, she had things she wanted and most of it was my time. Dinner at her parents', sleepover with her friends, link up a few clubs, trips to places we'd never been and just a lot of time.

In all the game days, you put in your 100% best. You stayed in tune with your focus: family and basketball. And it showed. I was never stressed out on the future pain but glory. It sounds crazy, but when I gave all that I had, deeply within I hoped that perhaps one day you would look up to the crowd and not just see me on the stands, but gaze at the good thing you were lucky enough to stumble upon. The shooting prowess you’ve got caught me smiling for reasons that you somehow were distant to.

I had a different mindset from her's then and with that, cohesion is almost a flickering dream. It's only for too long that you can bear the pressure. My defence team was crumbling up and falling apart and my attack team was lacking. I was losing focus and missing sure three-pointers. My dribbles became soft and I stopped breaking as much ankles.

We were just on different tracks. The blame game is too childish to play and to point fingers is tiring. Exactly why our two-player team couldn’t hold out any longer than it was supposed to. There is some truth to temporary situations because once I started not to hold out on my feelings it began to affect you heavy. The words were too deep and for you to perform and make those buckets the easiest way out seemed to cut me off. Our history was short lived and you left it to the grave.

My rebounds fell astray and all over sudden, everyone was concerned. But she never stopped screaming my name in the stands. Wasn't I painful enough to watch? Or she still believed in me when nobody else did? Too many questions I had but not enough time to answer them. I needed to up my game. So I explained the changes and she said she'd be there through it all.

I told her I might have needed time and she said she would walk through time with me. I said I needed space and she promised to take me to the moon and back. I don't blame her. Sometimes we love and love enough to really care. So I was scared of her love and what my failure would do to it. That's why I pushed her away; the worst way one could ever do. I broke her heart. It's been 17 months today. And now as I sit on her favorite basketball of mine in the changing room, shower running, tears dripping, I hate to think that I lost myself my number one fan.

I wasn’t looking for a fairy tale. But I confess I was ready for another experience, even if it wasn’t a long shot. At least, it could have been a relationship where we had each other’s back. And one thing I find the harshest about this winter is that it's getting really cold. You’re just a lot harder to find during the season than off-season. Therefore, these fans you have, you don't. And you know what hurts like crazy? They were never there promoting you heavy like I was. At least, not even half as I did. I may not be the baddest chick, but this love I got was always all real. I was the laces to your sneakers, the spring to your step. I was the rebound to your mistakes only to find myself shoved back into the crowd. Just as you did, I decided as well to drop the deadbeat because I just don’t think there’ll ever be an overtime. Not for you.

COLLAB BY: Dani Del Rosarío & Dennis Tuyishime