Santa Says

[Happy Holidays] Croxt:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, changes in weather, thanks global warming and price inflation; Mr. Santa couldn't show up on time this year at every door. Either way he managed to get through and sent me an email so y'all know what Santa says and what he's been up to. This is what the email says:

"I know some of you did not get a gift at all or on time, or you got something less than what you expected. I don't blame the Starbucks red cups this season or the way some of you guys don't even have a chimney. I gained some weight, I admit. & no it's not that I sneak into the fridges of the houses that have bigger ones enough to fit me. I need a new sleigh, man. The one I have been using doesn't fly high enough anymore and population increase is another thing. I've been talking with my guys at Amazon and eBay. They're doing a better job so far, all through the year and it's about time I joined the technology world while at it. So you know this is the first but definitely not last email I will be sending. I like listening to the wishes of the little children because they actually believe in the ability to make things happen. I wish they would be shown even better how to. You'll see me chilling at the mall some times and it's usually me waiting for the refills. You gotta give back occasionally. Ask me what's my best side and you'll find out it's not that greener on the other either. We all have things we need and those that need to be taken care of and right now it's like I'm hungry again. Prepare the tables and ready your stomachs. The neighbourhood smells alive and R.I.P to all the chicken that had to go out this season. The Christmas lights are flashing and all these houses are well-decorated. If I was to be in a fairytale then I was in a legendary one. Maybe a couple of more hundred times because I'd never have needed a second chance if the first one was elaborate. I know what I need to do and I'm sorry snow is yet to fall where you expected. Even on a white Christmas, I don't discriminate. Be good children and you'll find the gifts you wished for. It's unfair that I'm busiest when you are on vacation but also fair that every other time I'm just chilling counting smiles and preparing gifts for the next one. The lessons I've learned have helped me help kids to be the things they wish for. Teach them to wish and work for the best. It makes my work easy. This is what I want to do. Have you ever started preparing your Reindeer and then it started to rain dear? That sucks. But what more can I say? I'll just apologize one more time and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, 2016." 

PARTYcipation

[Straight in the Mood] Croxt:

When you are at a party; be a part of the party. Be in it or at home. Be part of the fun and part of the solution. Look, I love how you are the life of the party. It's fine by me how you always manage to steal the show. The best thing about tonight is that the DJ knows we have arrived. Another one! He knows the types of tunes we turn up to and I know he loves how we dance. How we give life to the party. The speakers are booming and it's going down. Somebody call 911 and tell them the roof is on fire. Call security and tell them we're about to have a situation. #Lituation. The ladies have their makeup well-done and they all look ready for a beautiful night. The men are full of energy and the sound of their laughter is music to your ears. Friends are reconnecting and everyone is making their peace. It's crazy. The atmosphere is turnt and it's about to be one blast of a night. The drinks are in circulation and every one is in a good mood. The bouncers outside are welcoming and the bartenders inside are charming. You can literally feel the fun. My squad turns up like individual. Whatever that means, no one else compares. And since you clearly can't beat them, feel free to join us. I love the way you dance and the way you move. It's like you're moving with me. It gets too hot some times in here and a bit sweaty. The people keep going and the DJ never tires. We know we deserve a good time and that's what we are having. No disrespect and zero discrimination. We came to light the night up and that's why I brought my lighter. To light. The night. I see the higher we go the cooler we become. You are busting some dangerous moves and it looks like I may want to join. The way we move around here is beautifully mind-blowing. Dance like you have a great point to prove. It's one of those nights where you could care but care less. You could be whoever you want with zero exaggeration. The limelight is on you and you better show us what you know. I've seen people become believers after doubting your potential. Move with the beat and let the vibes bless you. Who wants a dance? Who fancies to dance with me? It's a party and I'm making sure everybody is having a great time. If you want something let me know and in case you need anything hit me up. It's crazy we are back at this, here together again, after all we have been through. Let's make this a night to remember.

Throwbacks and Starbucks

[Some of the Stories I Tell] Croxt:

Allow me to take it back, way back to the days a sweet-cold cappuccino would take me out a while. See, it's not that I hate my sleep but some things need to be taken care of while you're still awake. Dark nights would turn into bright lights and the sunlight would usher me to sleep. With a night-shifter's attitude, you can get anything done no matter what time of day. I'll keep it subliminal and slide in your DM's. Text messages suck anyway. I'd rather you call me on my cellphone just because I like it when the hotline blings. But remember, this is way back before we had the SMS's and people would smack down the receiver if they didn't like what you were saying.. Or wanted to make clear what they were telling you. I'm not that guy with a temper to shout you down over a phone call. I know that we see things different at times. I'm calm and I never let my storms overturn other people's boats. If I was the iceberg in the Titanic movie, I would have moved out of the way. I let people be and mind my own coffee. Kids learn from our actions and I'm glad there are some things I've unlearned. I know now what's really important. If I'll disturb your peace then I'm sorry. Because I know what that means. It's important as you sit on the coffee table to stick to your own. People who want others involved in their lives with no benefit to them need to learn how not to be selfish. Yet, you can't really be of use to everyone you get a chance to meet. So, don't make it difficult for the ones you do. A trip down memory lane will take me to Kenya, unfortunately, with no Starbucks coffee shop in sight. We would make our kahawa on a firewood jiko and the soot on the sufuria would alert you on how much time you would need. The smoke from the wood gave the coffee a different taste and I wouldn't say it was the best but I miss it. The smoke would make your eyes tear, save from the fresh onions in the shamba outside. So I know how to make a couple of things from scratch. & in case you forgot, you scratch where it it itches the most. I've had soot find its way into my eyes as I prepared my morning breakfast. I still didn't close my eyes to the pain we went through. I didn't make it normal. Food left over from the previous night was a blessing in the morning so at dinner, we always remembered to save some for tomorrow. It's the thing with memories; you remember even how the cold ugali tasted. I like my coffee with a lot of milk, I won't mention how much sugar. Gratefully, enough neighbours bred enough cattle to supply the whole kijiji. So I'm sure if the stars would light up tomorrow night and the one after, the bucks I had then will not compare. I am in the mood for growth as always and if it's by this wooden coffee table that I will carve my story, then let the coffee sip inside it and make my writing legible.

Prefect wa Mtaa

[My kind of Sheng'] Kroxti:

Kuna machwom kazaa mi natambua hii mtaa na bila kukazia, vitu zingine ka hizi hukam in handy kukinuka. Nimejaribu one-two, one-two na natambua zile vitu zinawork na zile zinahitaji effort ziada zaidi. Kumaanisha naweza okolea base inahitaji msaada ama niencourage newcomer anazipitia. Kuobserve ishakuwa hobby na kulearn ikakuwa desturi. Kuna vitu enough simind na kuna zile ntapigia debe. Tried and tested. Tried and tasted. Kuna graffiti moja mbili nimeorchestrate na kuwin ni kitu siwezi mind kudemonstrate. Learn na me.. Grow na me. Mchezo mchezo hivi tutakuwa tumefika place wengine hawawezi. Jua na mwezi; we look up to. Na kila mwezi full, I look up, juu. Ju iko vile kukiumana lazma ukuwe na meno ngumu zaidi; ulimi tamu zaidi na attitude ya juu zaidi. Ambia wale wasee walilose hope na wewe hii ndo time ya kujiredeem. Uskonde msupa, uskonde kaka brazza. Hatukufundishwa poa kuwin on our own.. Ndo reason tunacopy sana. Kama unaremember fiti methali kazaa, utakumbuka ukiiga ndovu kunya utapasuka huko down. Tbh, hiyo ni tragic. Tujipende na tujue what's enough bila kujilimit. Ama ilikuwa ujue aje we ni ndovu ukiishi ka chura? I hope sikupandisii but ka unaniwahi, unaniget, tukate hii ticket tusafiri pamoja. Njia si fupi lakini tukifika utajua.

From the Queen's Diary

[What Does She Say?] Croxt:

I tore a page from the Queen's diary & this is what it said:

"This little golden maiden sits on my lap in the midst of a cloud of smoke she chose to inhale and now, wishing to be me. I am her and she is yet to be me. Her demeanour is calm and collected and sometimes I wish the pieces she's been broken into I'd collect. She'll piece it all together in due time but at the moment I'd rather she'd not. For now. Although what she seems is comfortable. A thing I admire. She sits with her friends and I see them come alive. Yet you'd never fight the feeling of great companionship. I shudder because every time they look at her, they almost see my face beneath hers. It's scary. I know am not yet ready to come out, so I hide. Beneath the surface, I've cracked a thousand times under this shell. It is her courage that drives me insane. I've been hidden for too long but her search for answers keeps bringing her closer to the truth. I'd say she's in the process of finding herself, me, which I'm not helping her with. You keep running until it's impossible to escape the claws. Because I know my worth. And I think she almost deserves it. See, she cries all things I would and laughs at the jokes that would break my ribs. She's trying. She embodies her skin, her colour, her struggles and her flaws. She's chosen to embrace herself fully and it's tempting to lean in and tell her she'll find me and that everything is going to be okay. She knows best not to believe in the lies and works on herself. Every day. To be better, to grow, to become. She is asking herself too many questions right now. Does she like this feeling of emptiness and cloudy nights? Has she fought her mind enough to believe that good lies within her? Use your imagination little one, and pretend that aeroplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars. She could really use a wish right now. To be one with me; who I am. I am her but she is yet to be me. Things take time and uncertainty wounds the heart. Good girls love good things. And she's fallen in love. The environment we find ourselves in should grow us. She should know. But I won't tell. I guess you could say that we are one and the same. They have praises for her I'd echo & in every tune she'd dance to, I'd feel her steps. In due time, we will be one. See, I am her highness. Her superior. She looks up to me for guidance, deep within her self to the pure pits of self where I thrive to rule and judge her actions. And with every move she makes, she leaves me impressed. I'd run fast a thousand miles but sure enough, she'll catch up around the corner. Every good turn deserves another."

I'm on your Team - FootbalLove

[The Name is Ditiem] Croxt:

Level the playing field and allow me to see from post to post. The ball is in our court and the only dream we have is to score the most goals and in the most beautiful fashion. Targets are reached and limits exceeded by the ones who know what they are fighting for. I am versatile in every sense and I see you might be intimidated by the chances I create. I am not looking out for myself; I stopped playing selfish when I realized we could all be the stars we ever dreamt of becoming. I will take the lead if you are a bit shy or not fully convinced yet. I understand fully why I am in this. I have seen the bigger picture and the most we could achieve. I am not trying to steal the show or claim all the light but if by it shining on me would bring you on, then I've let it. The changing rooms might be messy but the world needn't see it. They clearly should not see my anticipation or the anxiety you're dressed in. They see the game we play and cheer the goals we score. Let's not fall behind the lines to please ourselves or fight amongst ourselves to settle old scores. Those ones don't matter on the field. This is the chance to put behind our differences and claim our pot of gold. Imagination is our name and possibility our drive. We only take the chances we create so allow me to be as creative as I can. Don't try to lower my energy and don't dress me less to look better yourself. Don't compromise with what we have but challenge me for more. I could give us the world if you're not too stubborn to keep taking us back to where we started. I could grant you the wishes you always had before you met a real winner; somebody with pure intention and clear motive. A caterpillar like you deserves to fly. To butterfly. To become something I'm convinced you could. It's not going to be easy but at least we have the compass directions. Google Maps is our friend and the number of goals we score will put us on the map. Don't despair and play your part. We will make each moment count and if you ever lose faith in me; never lose the one you have in yourself. We are on the same team and it's time you stopped worrying too much about me. Let's get these goals.

You know what to Expect

[Of Paths not Taken] Croxt:

All caterpillars have the divine capability to one day become butterflies. It's chances mostly and hope and carefulness and the ability to be patient that sets it free. We are given fires we do not know how to play with and if we miss a step we walk right into them and its burning. A skillful soldier knows when to step into the battlefield and you don't call for war when you're not ready. To be skillful, practice is needed. You can never be realistic if you're not real to yourself. You dream too big and it's okay. You dress the part and it's okay. They don't believe in you yet and it's still okay. You ask yourself too many questions and it's also okay. At least you know what to expect. Nobody ever told you it was going to be easy and you've grown enough to see that it's not. Hardened hearts are like onions to me. They make me cry sometimes. Why would you break the trust you had in yourself because someone broke the one you had in them? The hardest you fight on, the brightest your butterfly wings become. It's a given but you have to earn it. Stay strong and stand your ground. Move your will beyond the horizon. To be out of reach, each step counts. You get what you expect and if it's disappointment you're afraid of, don't be disappointed in yourself. Learn to fear nothing. Learn to embrace change. Learn to grow no matter the environment. Learn to be the best version of only yourself. Yet when you dive into your possible possibilities, don't dive in too deep to lose yourself. Love yourself enough to know what's enough; without setting for less. The wings are already inside you. You just have to learn how to work them. And once the sun is out, the leaves will be expecting you to land on them. You already know what to expect.

Turtles in Turtleneck Sweaters

[Of Paths not Taken] Croxt:

Always dress the part, unless you're different on the inside and way above other's expectations. I can imagine a giraffe with a longer turtleneck or a kangaroo in tights; jumping her way to the dinner table. We carry only what belongs to us as we let the earth swallow its dust. At High Park station, I met a friend. A friend in need; a friend indeed. A friend in deed; a friend with solutions. I realize now that not everyone who's there to help will help but at least you have some people you can count on. I survive on a daily dose of prayer and changes in routine have given me better experiences. If there are things I know for certain; let bettering myself be one of them. I know where to step ever since I knew where to start. I have the ignition dates printed in my heart and I have fallen in love with this journey to the best version of myself. I will give you nothing less. You get what you give; if it's something to go by, I get the best version of experiences wherever I go. People are free to be themselves around me and to be honest, I've had really meaningful conversations with people from many walks. Yet I do not credit it to any part of my doing but to the ability that I am who I give. & I'll give the best. I'll try my best. I'll stay the best. No comparison intended, I only compete with myself. I know where I want to go and I clearly know what's important to me. I should mention that we are who we want to be if we present ourselves to the right situations that define us. If you ever have a problem understanding what I say or what it means; ask me a question. That's how we learn. Yet, it's never that serious if you believe that you're on the right path. I'll say a million things and still make sure they are all spoken when they were needed. I don't force my thoughts, I let them take shape. I let them exist and I learn from them as well. I am on a mission to keep on going and to keep on going and when the time is right, my shell will give way to the wings underneath. Turtles could be something else too.

FixzBanger: The Antidote

[Of Paths not Taken] Croxt:

The silver moon could hold on longer if the golden sun did not show up on time. It's called taking responsibility. If people depended more on it, maybe it could shine even brighter. The street lights have progressively taken over its job and it could only happen because it wasn't really enough and people needed to feel a lot more safer. So the subway tracks sometimes get you home faster if you live right next to the station than your car could. But sometimes it's easier staying alone. Royals and merchants know nothing about missing the train and the bus having to stop at every single stop. It drains you when you have to walk because you don't have enough coins for the token you need to get home while it frustrates you if you forgot to fill up the car the night before and now you're empty. Empty pockets do not give a smile to the beggars on the street and neither does closed car windows. To find you must search and to search you must know where to start. So you don't burn bridges unless you can swim even in the cold. Or if you have enough money to replace the other one. They say you're hit hard where you fear the most that's why I encourage people to never let fear get the best of them. Jogging to work is an option too if you want to lose weight but sometimes you gain because you have nothing to lose. Schools are where we go to to learn but the way it's set up; you run out of funds, and time, and sometimes confidence. Your family is supposed to be there for you but you make it hard for them or they make it hard for you so what are both of you saying? I hear Thanksgiving dinners are full of ungrateful conversations. Friends usually are there for each other but when money is not involved. True friends understand. Yet people are different and some of this is made up. Pineapples are good and sweet and juicy but not for your teeth. I have an antidote and it's quite simple. You make your life count each moment and you better love yourself now you could be running out of ideas.

Calming Nation

[The Name is Ditiem] Croxt:

Calming Nation: where your fears go to die. I am the President of a country that knows rest. Peace is the air we breathe and happiness is the music we dance to. We have our own problems but we deal with them in time. We rise when we fall; we ride through every stop. Our constitution allows everyone to grow; knowing for a fact that that is what we are here for. Expression is allowed and we have learnt to embrace our differences. The fear-mongers are shunned and their power is stripped off. The afraid are taught how to overcome and we don't force things, we let them become us. We are winners of battles we do not have to fight and when the enemy is upon us; they've chosen their predicament. We pick the battles that are necessary and evil will never find its way into our hearts. We defend the weak and protect the vulnerable. We speak up against unfair and unjust treatment and we remedy the things that ail us. Our anthem symbolizes us and our flag is painted in our hearts. We have found harmony and peace and that is necessary. We have loved the atmosphere we exist in knowing well that we would be comfortable even if we had to live elsewhere. We have joined forces with our friends and we treat our enemies with respect. We help wherever we can and build everything that is beautiful. You see, we are compassion and compassion is us. Bullies are not given an ear and to step on our toes is to injure your feet. We are responsible and respectable while at it. We do not compete for favours; we do what is right. We show up on time and rightly so. We learn where we fail and we teach well how to respond to different situations. Our children are given the opportunities they deserve and they learn from us the best ways to go about things; allowed to learn for themselves. We encourage excellence and we reprimand the wrongdoings. We correct our mistakes in fashioned detail. Not every problem is solved the same way and not one solution is applicable to every situation. So we don't complain, we seek the right solution. We do not worry; we work smart enough to make things better. We are not afraid because we already know what we stand for. We are proud of the much we have achieved and gratefully hopeful for the many that will come. We have reason to celebrate and we do not overdo it. We have places to go and we don't overcrowd them. We have money to spend and we do not waste it. We have time in our hands and we cultivate the most out of it. Most importantly, we have our peace to defend and we do not let anyone interfere with it. A friend once asked me, as a leader, would you rather be loved or feared? Now, I say, loved by my own and feared by the weak.

Know me, Know me

[The Name is Ditiem] Croxt:

Searchers and finders find fun in everything they search for and meet along the way. Some of them have searched the truth and found it. Others have searched for themselves in all honesty and found their purpose. I'm not a belieber but you could ask me; "What do you mean?" Now, I'm sorry for the mystery I've walked in before but of what essence is it to brag about the things I really never had? So to answer your question, it's never too late to say that you're sorry and if a thousand times would pass and still have you as my friend, I owe you gratitude. I'm thankful. For all the experiences I've met along the way. For the beauty in life and the endless opportunities to redefine myself. The fact is, I have never doubted my potential and I never will. If you know where you want to go, then you obviously observe the tides before you set sail. Ships were never built to be docked and the Maker knows the potential hidden in it. The buyer might be blind to some of the faults hidden inside but at least there's a lot more they fancy to spend their treasures. Know me by name and I'll know you by yours. I've stuck to a trade that helps me grow. See, as a man thinketh, so is he. And of course I want to be everything beautiful. Know me and you'll know beauty. Know me and you'll know better. Let the ones who chase the winds lose their way; I know where I'm going because I chase my dreams. Make no fault in knowing me for the wrong reasons; it only gets things complicated. Wikipedia will also know my name so you definitely won't be the only one. I advance. I always take the next step every time it's possible to do so. In all definitions, that is someone worth knowing. Let's make the world a better place and if you ever believed one man could change the world, be glad that at least, now, you know me.

F.B: Forever Beautiful

[Of Paths not Taken] Croxt:

My heartstrings are plucked by the things truly most beautiful. So when I say I am in love with happiness, please believe me. I have seen children play and nothing is more beautiful than the joy that radiates even from their simplest actions. I have reason to believe that we are all fashioned to be in love with the things that make us happy. The things that come natural and naturally I was pulled to the joy you set alive inside the crevices of my imaginations. Yet to think that I would be elsewhere would never make sense. I am comfortable in the knowledge that things will get better so I put effort knowing that harvest is on its way. Look into the mirror and believe in the beauty hiding inside you. Let it manifest complete and in no time you will see the vibrations roaring evidently comfortably on the outside. Be fearless and you'll be fearlessly beautiful. Be free in your thoughts and actions and you'll be freely beautiful. Be fierce in your fight for inner peace and you'll become fiercely beautiful. Be friends with yourself first and you'll soon see yourself become friends with your own beauty. Be focused on finding what plucks your own strings and your beauty will be focused on the true you. Try feeling for yourself and the feelings you express will be just as beautiful. Try falling in love with yourself and with the things that align with your heart that even when the time to fall in love with anything else comes you'll fall beautifully. You are the author of your soul and if you let it, you will direct yourself. Don't shy away from leading yourself into the freedom you yearn for because who else would do a better job? I have no motive concealed in reminding you to be the best version of yourself and if you could stop hiding from the truth maybe you could have enough time to learn how to fly. I admit I admire you even from a distance. If you find your true beauty; don't ever lose it. I believe in you. & I also believe in your ability to remain FOREVER BEAUTIFUL.

Compass Directions

[Of Paths not Taken] Croxt:

Freedom is for the mind that has its sense of direction. I talked to the jailer man and to me he seemed not to have one but the desire to keep lawbreakers behind bars. It's a good motive until disrespect and contempt towards his victims overflood his mind. I've also had conversations with the captain of a new ship and he intended to keep it no secret like a new song he just discovered on iTunes that filled him with content and new probabilities. So I envy your ability to fall in love with the things that contain immense potential. It is what we all should be; contain immense potential and fall in love with the things that do as well. I am a traveller and each needs his/her compass. Google maps could be my friend but there's barely any access to data in some of the fields I venture into. Some paths are out of the ordinary. & without a clear outline, we overlook some of the steps we should take. Faulty compasses get on my nerves and that's why I'll fix whatever needs to be fixed as I journey forward. I seldom get lost and the admiration I have for you is that of a person who knows their way. Be the bread I serve for breakfast as I embark on a new day and the dinner that keeps me rested at night. I am on a roll and no one could stop me. The wise bus driver knows it's never too late to wait for the old lady trying to catch his bus on a cold winter morning. You are the juice I need to bloom and the birds and bees will be grateful for the sweet nectar we will produce together. If I knew my way to my destination, I'd quicken my steps unafraid. I am no coward and in the face of trials, I triumph. Let's not change targets because we fell short; tomorrow is another day to do better. To push ourselves. To get there. I will not change conversations if you make me uncomfortable. We will talk about why I am uncomfortable. I'm not changing teams because the others look convinced. We know where we are headed and what it takes. If I believe enough to become the butterfly I desire to become, you will hold the testimony for me. We are tried and only to the point we are capable. Never give up. Give some things a thought and you will replenish the dying cells. We have been leading all the way and there's no room to stop now. We will break the walls if we have to and we will rise above the barriers. We will make the most out of it because we are never missing the way. I'll be your compass and you could be mine to. The things that were missing in the picture are about to be granted enough consideration and if it's too far for you to come with me, thank you for the miles we clocked in together. I'll be your compass and you could be mine as well.