Santa Says

[Happy Holidays] Croxt:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, changes in weather, thanks global warming and price inflation; Mr. Santa couldn't show up on time this year at every door. Either way he managed to get through and sent me an email so y'all know what Santa says and what he's been up to. This is what the email says:

"I know some of you did not get a gift at all or on time, or you got something less than what you expected. I don't blame the Starbucks red cups this season or the way some of you guys don't even have a chimney. I gained some weight, I admit. & no it's not that I sneak into the fridges of the houses that have bigger ones enough to fit me. I need a new sleigh, man. The one I have been using doesn't fly high enough anymore and population increase is another thing. I've been talking with my guys at Amazon and eBay. They're doing a better job so far, all through the year and it's about time I joined the technology world while at it. So you know this is the first but definitely not last email I will be sending. I like listening to the wishes of the little children because they actually believe in the ability to make things happen. I wish they would be shown even better how to. You'll see me chilling at the mall some times and it's usually me waiting for the refills. You gotta give back occasionally. Ask me what's my best side and you'll find out it's not that greener on the other either. We all have things we need and those that need to be taken care of and right now it's like I'm hungry again. Prepare the tables and ready your stomachs. The neighbourhood smells alive and R.I.P to all the chicken that had to go out this season. The Christmas lights are flashing and all these houses are well-decorated. If I was to be in a fairytale then I was in a legendary one. Maybe a couple of more hundred times because I'd never have needed a second chance if the first one was elaborate. I know what I need to do and I'm sorry snow is yet to fall where you expected. Even on a white Christmas, I don't discriminate. Be good children and you'll find the gifts you wished for. It's unfair that I'm busiest when you are on vacation but also fair that every other time I'm just chilling counting smiles and preparing gifts for the next one. The lessons I've learned have helped me help kids to be the things they wish for. Teach them to wish and work for the best. It makes my work easy. This is what I want to do. Have you ever started preparing your Reindeer and then it started to rain dear? That sucks. But what more can I say? I'll just apologize one more time and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, 2016."